My non-human parenting struggles w/ separation anxiety. {Repost

*Originally posted on my artist blog 8.29.2018

July 2017, I excitedly moved into my new apartment it’s 1000 sq. ft., full of natural light, dog/cat friendly, safe neighborhood, near my work–basically perfect for me.

Until early August of 2017. I wasn’t even fully unpacked when my (super nice and understanding) landlord texted that my dog was barking all the time. She’d bark incessantly for hours. Hours. If this situation wasn’t resolved, I’d be evicted.

So–there I was, after struggling to finally find a good place, about to dive back into the seemingly impossible task of finding another apartment. Although, before it came to that, I was given the chance to get Miss Doctora’s separation anxiety under control. (So, super thanks for being understanding about that my nice neighbors and landlord)

I’m the only dog in my seven unit (somewhat thin-walled, 100+ year old) building. In my last apartment, almost everyone in my three story building had dogs, as well as the adjacent buildings. Barking came and went, and it was just a part of our lives.

So, being the nerd that I am–I placed an apology note for my neighbors by our boxes, updating them a bit on my situation and apologizing for how annoying of a neighbor I had inadvertently been. I faced the challenge head on. I love my sweet little white monster, but I’d been ready for my life to finally just settle down after a year and a half of things being generally a bit chaotic.

With almost an impractical intensity, I attempted to help relieve my weirdo dogs anxiety in the following ways, with varying degrees of success:

•  Classical music remastered to help calm dogs (Yea, that is actually a thing.): Didn’t seem to have an effect, but it sounded fine.

• Thunder Shirt: Nope, this didn’t help either. (But I know it does help some dogs.)

• Treat dispensing/problem-solving treat toys: She would leave them untouched for hours, refusing to eat them until I got back.

• Puppy Prozac: Can take a month to take effect (according to the vet), but still didn’t help noticeably.

• Left the radio on: Eh. Didn’t hurt, right?

• Left music on: Okay, maybe that helps? Maybe? Probably not.

• Left on music and a podcast: Sure? It’s cacophony! That has to at least help drown out other sounds in the building.

• Left fan on: I think that helped a bit too, just as white noise.

• Placed blanket over her kennel: I think this helped a bit.

• Dog-calming treats: She liked them, but there was no noticeable effect.

• What I called “Kennel practice”: I’d keep her in the kennel with the podcast on, but I’m still around in the house and she can hear me move about, going in and out of my apartment—this didn’t help much.

• Dog anti-anxiety medication from the vet: Does make her more noticeably chill and sleepy when I’m around, but I think her adrenaline still gets amped up when I leave.

• Calming pheromone spray: Didn’t seem to help any, and smelled really odd.

• Calming pheromone plug-in defuser: Didn’t smell weird, but also didn’t help noticeably.

• Give her a tank top I’d slept in so it smelled like me: She just chewed it all up.

• Hemp oil treats: Made her a bit sleepy when she was around me. But her adrenaline rush from me leaving would negate any of those positive side effects.

• Hemp oil drops to put on her food: Same result as the treats.

I can take my sweet girl on bike rides with a K9 Sports Sack. (Not sponsored, just a product I use and really like.)

• Beeping Bark collar: It beeps when she barks which helps to distract and annoy her into not barking. This is helped a lot. She hates it, I’m sure she still has just as much if not more anxiety, but it does discourage barking enough that I have been able to continue living in my apartment.

• Citronella collar: Sprays citronella when she barks. It feels a bit mean, but it still has to be better than a shocking collar. She has started to bark through her beep collar at times, so, my adventures in separation anxiety continues…

Regardless, I love my flawed broken little dog, probably because I’m also flawed and broken. And we have fit into each other’s lives in a way, I know I won’t ever experience with another pet. Despite the challenges, she really is a wonderful dog, and I am blessed to have her in my life. (Sorry I can’t take you everywhere, Mo.)

(Also, she can’t read, so I don’t know why I’m writing parenthetical notes to my dog? Maybe that’s love? Love is notes to your dog that she’ll never read.)